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yourstrulyrika · 10 months ago

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rika <3 was wondering if u could write smth about leon reassuring reader? maybe she insecure, thinks that leon deserves someone better (ada maybe?)

you are sooo sweet to us all, i hope you are taking care of yourself!! xoxo

hello ♡ of course!! i actually love this concept, been thinking about this, so ofc! also love you too ♡ i’m glad all of you are following me!!

no warnings, pure fluff and comfort. heavy mentions of insecurity and mental struggles though. reader is hinted to be Leon’s mission partner, but not stated directly!! re4r!Leon :3

you’re insecure, to say the least. always thinking you’re not good enough, that you’re ugly, undeserving— and then there’s Leon. the most perfect man you laid your eyes on, and he’s your boyfriend. he loves you, more than life itself — but even when he tells you that, you don’t quite believe it. Leon is honest, sure, but what if he’s just saying this? what if he just doesn’t want to make you upset? those thoughts keep nagging your head. your mind is your own hell.

and there’s also Ada. Ada Wong — Leon has said so many times they don’t share anything, that he doesn’t like her that way.She’s just the part of his life he can’t get rid of—

and that mere sentence strengthened your doubts. it got worse. so much worse.

you saw her like once in your life, and the way Leon looks at her. you started thinking he loves her, doubts eating you alive. Ada is so much prettier, so much better, smarter, stronger— the list can go on. you hate it. what if Leon likes her more and is with you out of pity? after all, he knows Ada for long years right? You know about the kiss— he says it was just Ada using his feelings and all that. you did not believe him. not one fucking bit.

since then, your mind has created a whole new scenario that Leon doesn’t love you. you can’t help it. you started isolating yourself, closing yourself in your own world and not speaking to him. any attemps at conversation coming from Leon were futile. you just couldn’t find it in yourself to speak. why would he want to speak with you anyway? he has Ada, right? she’s so much better.

but, Leon was going insane. losing his damn mind over this. he knew something was going on. why won’t you talk to him? what’s going on— why are you so damn quiet? pushing him away? he feels so confused, but also so stressed out over this. what happened? what did he do wrong?

he tried talking to you, but you just.. won’t budge. and he feels so damn horrible. he just wants to wrap you in his arms and comfort you.

“Please, just speak to me. Baby? Please, I beg you. I love you, you know that, right?”

you hear his words, but you don’t respond. why can’t he just go away? obviously he’s lying.

but he just gets so damn frustrated. he’s growing fucking desperate. your doors are locked— not letting him in. but he won’t let you isolate yourself any further. he literally breaks down the door to reach you, finding you laying down on the bed.

he kneels down beside your bed, reaching out to take your hand in his. when you don’t reach back, he frowns, but doesn’t push any further. instead, he lets you have your own space.

“What’s going on? Please, talk to me. No matter how silly you think it is.” he’s genuine when saying this. he genuinely cares about you so damn much, wants you to be happy with him.

you hesitate to respond, mumbling out a single “Ada Wong.”

and it was enough to hit him with a damn reality check. you were insecure about Ada. you were always insecure, but surely Ada’s appearance didn’t help. the way he’s looking at you, so sweet and loving, it tells you he understands. he stands up, sitting on the bed to cup your cheeks.

“Oh baby. I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry.” that’s all he says while looking into your eyes to make sure you understand what he’s saying.

“I know what you think. I can see it right in your eyes. But please, don’t think she means anything to me. She’s a part of my past, sure, but she’s just the past. What matters is right now — and right now, you’re mine. I don’t feel anything towards Ada. That feeling left years ago. Please, let me prove it to you.” he says as he presses his lips to your forehead, interlocking your fingers together. you let him in, let him hold you. and he’s so damn happy over this — so desperate to reassure you.

“I missed holding you so much, princess. I love you, and only you. I’m all yours — everything I have, it’s also yours. My body, my heart, my soul belongs to you.” he whispers in your ear, laying down beside you, turning your position a little so you face him while he holds you.

“And I don’t want anyone else. No one. All I see is you. Everyone else just don’t matter to me. You’re all I want.” he’s peppering your face with little kisses, hoping you hear him out. he makes sure you fall asleep that night, in his arms. he’s holding you in his arms through the whole night, not letting go.

“There’s no one better than you. Not even Ada, Jill, Claire— no one. No. One.” he says this firmly, making sure you understand. or at least tries to get it into your head. he’s so hopelessly in love with you, literally could die for you. one could say he’s almost obsessed— in a way, he is. he thinks about you 24/7, even on his missions, when about to sleep, when training.

he falls asleep eventually, once you’re asleep— and when he wakes up, and sees you awake, he’s already all over you.

“Please, don’t leave me. Never leave.” he begs you; you can see how desperate he is. you never see him so open with his feelings. but he just can’t handle the thought of you leaving, he’s so damn terrified about this. looking at you with vulnerable, soft eyes, pleading you to understand. he loves you with his entire heart, and he means it.

“I won’t. I love you, too.”

you say, and that much is enough for him to pull you into a kiss. a deep, loving kiss where pours all his love into. it lasts until both of you are breathless, but even then, he doesn’t want to let go. lets you catch your breath, before pulling you into another kiss. locking your lips with his own, cupping your face. when he pulls away, he looks at you again, with a soft smile on his face.

“Let’s have a lazy day today, okay? I just want to pamper you, show you I love you so much. Just let me take care of you — I want to make sure you won’t ever doubt yourself over Ada again.”

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil x you #resident evil x reader

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altades · 1 year ago

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Vashwood rant

I can't sleep so why not analyze vashwood in the middle of the night

Now, this analysis is mostly of the manga, with maybe small takes from 98 and tristamp

To start let's look at the boys from their respective beginnings

Vash is so cruelly mischaracterized as a child, and it might be a little bit of trismaps fault, even though i do love it, or maybe people are just putting characters into boxes without really thinking about it but Vash is so not soft-shy-nice little baby brother. The whole thing with him being younger is so insane to me, i get why if Nai was born like 10 minutes earlier he would make it his whole personality (very sibling thing to do) but it's just so stupid. No, they have 0 age difference and it doesn't affect their dynamic cuz the are literally twins for the love of god. And, really, when you look at the manga as kids Nai was the emotional one! And he still is!

Nai is plagued by fear and anger and resentment and those emotions are what drive his every decision. Vash, on the other hand, is much more in control of his feelings and doesn't show them as much. That is to say that pre-tesla nai is the one worried about their relationship with humans, about their future, he's the one crying after talking to Conrad (what a sweet child he was) while Vash seemes much less scared.

And when they find out about Tesla Nai is the one who faints - he’s the more reactive one, the emotional one. And that small difference is what sets their paths so differently. Because Vash actually gets a chance to talk to Rem and figure things out.And that talk is so very important because it makes Rem, who already was everything to Vash, even more important.

Now, I want us all to think about how terrified Vash was after seeing Tesla cuz he probably thought his own mother was going to dissect him and his brother. But then she saves him when he tries to end his own life, proving that no she’s not gonna kill him, because she, as every human, has the capability to learn from her mistakes and make better choices. (too bad Nai didn’t get that lesson lol)

And then we get to the big bad things. (it’s genocide) But the important part from that whole ordeal is Rem’s sacrifice. Because, listen, I love stories where humanity is shown to be capable of change and forgiveness is a virtue and love and pussy and all that but oh man can it be so so unrealistic and a little bit insane to watch (su im looking at u (i love su but oh boy that is not how the world works unfortunately)) but Trimax manages to make it work so well. I believe that’s cuz Vash is a very kind and loving man but is also completely out of his mind and has horrendous mommy issues. At least half the reason he doesn’t kill people is because Rem has died to save them, and killing them would make it all be for nothing. If he kills these people or if he lets them die would that mean that Rem died for nothing? Did she sacrifice her life to save these people only for her own son to end their lives? AND you know I’m right cuz he literally says it in the manga but also BECAUSE HE DOES THE SAME FOR WOLFWOOD (also he did kill Nai when he had the chance but we don’t have time to unpack that)

All of that is A LOT and very complicated (i love Vash he’s so well written he’s my perfect little meow meow) now let's talk about Wolfwoooooooooood /twirls hair/

WW is much easier to understand and analyze cuz he is, just a guy,, WW is just a normal person who gets insanely unlucky and gets in THE WORST possible situations (If he ever played DND he would roll straight 1s). That is to say that his story is sort of a way to show how much life in the badlands sucks, but also that there are good things even in the worst places (the orphanage) And WW reacts to situations in the most rational way possible way - he kills to survive. he doesn’t want to but he doesn’t get a say in it. If he could chose he would just live with his family and friend and do whatever. And that, him being so normal in such a violent and bloody world is what makes him suffer all the time. His inner moral compass is screaming at him what a terrible person he is and he promptly ignores it.

That is until that moral compass manifests itself in the form of a tall, blond and handsome stranger that he’s supposed to lead to his death. The stranger who turns out to be the most compassionate and kind man WW’s has ever seen. Who he’s supposed to kill. It’s like finding an oasis in the desert and being forced to burn it to the ground. And WW doesn’t want to do that, and he refuses to believe that the oasis is not a mirage so he tries to get Vash to kill someone, even if it’s WW himself. (It doesn’t work.)

As we all know WW changes his mind because of Vash’s influence. And he dies for it. Because even though Vash’s beliefs are born of human virtues, no man is made to walk his path, for he is not human and any mortal who tries to follow an angel to the skies is doomed to crash. WHAT YOU DON’T EXPECT IS THAT THAT MAN WILL BRING THE ANGEL DOWN WITH HIM

There is this line I wrote for an art i’m planning to make and if you’ve read this far you deserve a lil spoiler - “have you found absolution in bringing an angel to his knees?” and it captures perfectly what i'm thinking. And also Vash spends so much time trying to be closer to people but I think him killing Legato might’ve been the most human thing he’s ever done. Cuz it’s is so beautiful in the way he does it for the memory of the person he loved and yet so ugly in it’s cruelty.

I’ve said this before but most of the time when there is a human/ some immortal powerful creature relationship I don’t think the human is that special but WW HE SO IS. Maybe it’s the way that he’s just as deep in the nuclear bombs with personality business as Vash is, being one of said nuclear bombs, but still remains a normal person with relatively good morals that he can anchor Vash to a sort of normality that he doesn’t get often. Like what other guy would get hunted by all sorts of freaks with you, get in trouble all the time, get shot and etc and etc and then go for a drink with you like it’s a normal wednesday? Wolfwood. Or maybe it's that WW learns of every worst part of Vash, he sees him be on the brink of losing himself, he knows Vash has actually caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and ALMOST did it again after Julai, and still stays with him? He sees Vash become something that is not human at all and still stay? Idk MAYBE IT’S ALL OF THAT but WW is just so important and so down bad but we all know that already so i’m not gonna add to that

Anyways, I got this all out of my system gn

#vashwood #trigun #trigun maximum

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formulatrash · 2 months ago

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What Hot Hatch* Should Every F1 Driver Have? Pt 1

*some of these cars are not technically hot hatches but they are, spiritually, hot hatches to ME and also car genres are meaningless shut up

Unfortunately because I have problems I allowed the group chat to commission me into writing this. I think you will be able to see the point where I really unleashed the thoughts that probably ought to be kept inside. Maybe I will keep Pt 2 to myself.

Max Verstappen - Honda Civic Type R This was tricky because we know the grid's resident cat dad is actually an SUV girly off the track. But he's also a brand loyalist and I'm fairly sure literally has had one of these as his factory car so it checks out that a car notorious for having a better engine than it did chassis would fit the Red Bull post-Newey meltdown. And if you need to go round a bunch of roundabouts there's really almost nothing rivalled to a Civic Type R.

Lewis Hamilton - og Nissan Leaf Yes, Lewis has never had any association to the Renault-Nissan alliance in his life but whatever he's leaving Mercedes. Think he's sort of forgotten about this but he did commit to only driving electric road cars awhile back and I will defend the Nissan Leaf with my LIFE as one of the most fun cars to drive. Nearly said the NISMO Leaf but actually the time I had a go in one of them it was insanely overbearing in a way someone used to having Bono to whine to wouldn't appreciate. The stripped down, basic, original is more than enough to fuck about in a multistory car park and I'm confident Lewis would immediately know what to do with it when next to a BMW at traffic lights.

George Russell - Williams Renault Clio This was actually what started it because I was introducing my beautiful wife to the groupchat and then considering which driver should throw some pocket money at it. Leaving aside the fact that if I was that rich there'd be a lockup in Monte Carlo full of the shittest mid-90s three-doors you've ever seen in your life, this car is perfect for George. It's got a legitimate heritage connection and it's a proper piece, something to look after. There's even matching sweaters for him and Carmen to wear in a sponsored post. And when he gets that look in his eye and starts clenching his jaw too much it's extremely good for doing donuts outside Carrefour.

Sergio Perez - Toyota GR Yaris No, I know he drives for a Honda works team but if they haven't fired him yet they'll probably overlook this. The GR Yaris is a bit of a North American legend because you can legally only get it in Mexico - they're not obtainable in the US. So this is an understated big dick move and maybe what Checo needs is to have a little obnoxious fun, y'know?

Charles Leclerc - Sbarro Super Eight Oh, Charles. Tied up in scarlet. In order to maintain his Maranello-chained brand suffering nothing but Ferrari's finest horsies could do but they're not really in the business of making mean little things to hoon. Unless you consider the driver academy, I guess. Anyway - the Sbarro Super Eight is a Ferrari 308 V8 engine in the body of the kind of vehicle you can get insured on under the age of 25. It has too much (260) horsepower, it's a little silly and deeply selfconscious. And like il predestinato there is only one in the whole world.

Carlos Sainz Jnr - VW Golf This isn't even a statement about what car he should have, this is a car he does have. Mr Sainz and I may disagree about many things but his opinion that the VW Golf is the ultimate road vehicle is absolutely correct. Anyone who's seen the excruciating DTS segment where he tries to take a McLaren to M&S for a disappointing taco mix purchase will understand why Carlos held on to his Golf, a much better vehicle for picking up some bits. In the words of the man himself: "No Golf, no party"

Lando Norris - Lancia Delta Integrale Mk 2 "la Perla" Anyone with my Instagram recommendations will know in quite some alarming detail which Monegasque petrol station Lando uses to fill up his collection of sports cars. Weird fan paparazzi behaviour aside, the man likes buying unique cars and clearly isn't above something quirky given the Fiat Jolly. The Delta Integrale "la Perla" 1) sounds a bit like a sex toy in a way I think he'd find amusing, 2) is rare, with a totally impractical pearlescent white paint job for something ostensibly intended to hoon. It's expensive, semi-unique (allegedly only a few hundred were made) and a little bit silly, with plenty of rally-proven power and drive to muck about with.

Oscar Piastri - Honda City Turbo Oscar seems like the kind of guy who doesn't care too much about appearances. Not in the sense he looks bad - he very clearly does not - but like, lot of rumpled shirts in his wardrobe he's not bothered about ironing, y'know. So it fits that he'd need a hot hatch that does the job more than it's about aesthetic. The things I know about Oscar are that he likes to spend time with his girlfriend and he learned Japanese at school so I'm diagnosing him with JDM import disease and making sure there's a passenger seat. The Honda City Turbo is a teeny weeny little car that only makes its way into being a hot hatch not a kei car because of the totally unnecessary powertrain. And what a fucking powertrain, straight from the Mugen division into the least likely chassis imaginable. Yes, the car is not the most ostentatious looking thing but it's technically interesting and sick as hell so whatever.

Zhou Guanyu - Renault Twingo 133 Silverstone edition Zhou is a man of immense taste and style. He has a great little cat. He is a national icon in his home country and, frankly, any other. He has spent a lot of his life in Sheffield. Aside from this making him basically an idealised form of bloke, I think this means I can entrust him with the Twingo. Not, it's got to be said, overpowered as a car in its base model (my Mk1 Twingo could boast a 0-62 measured in minutes) Renault have never been able to resist souping it up a bit and for some unlikely series of reasons made a sport version to tie into the 2011 British Grand Prix. I don't even want to know why, now, it's better that it stays a mystery. Anyway, this is a Twingo with unnecessary horsepower and live data feeds the Mk1 would probably have a misfire even considering. It's quirky, comes with plenty of backstory and y'know. Whomst amongst us hasn't been screwed around with by Renault a bit in the past?

Valtteri Bottas - the Suzuki Jimny The Jimny is a car of greats. Deceptively small, it works perfectly in a city or if you need to drive up a mountain to get to a gravel course. loads of room at the back for a bike rack. It's practical, a little odd-looking in a charming way and everyone's delighted every time they see one. You can definitely get your ass out in this vehicle. Is it a hot hatch? Probably not but you don't get to define how the Jimny lives its life.

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luvhughes43 · 2 years ago

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bullshit on the internet | jack hughes x reader

suki waterhouse masterlist - luvhughes43 masterlist🌷

summary: y/n and jacks relationship is new, and his past relationship with a model over-shines his new relationship. fans are always asking for jack and his ex to get back together, which leaves reader feeling stuck in a relationship thats not hers.

lyrics: "i saw you were with her only last night, i got caught up by your picture in a headline" & "it looks like you love her online" & "when they want you back together like a movie, then i wonder, is there any room for me?"

Note: for context purposes jacks ex gf is going to be named alice

word count: 1k

1 year earlier

present day

jackhughes just posted !

jackhughes

Liked by y/nuser, trevorzegras, and others

jackhughes my girl❤️

tagged: y/nuser

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trevorzegras YOU HAVE A GF??

colecaufield u literally knew about this

trevorzegras yeah i know i just wanted to be dramatic

fan01 we want u with alice not whoever this is

y/nuser in love with u actually

jackhughes i love you the most actually

fan02 pls get back together with alice😭🙏 u guys were perfect

hockeyfan01 great now get back on the ice!

fan03 not the hard launch😭 she's so pretty tho😭💗

lhughes_06 congrats man

*liked by jackhughes

aliceoffical

Liked by alanabc, stellajones, and others

aliceoffical on the cover of vogue💋

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dioralice LOMLS SO PRETTY

fan04 congrats girly💗💗

lilyrose_depp insanely gorgeous

fan05 have u seen jacks new girl? Youre so much prettier u two need to get back together

*liked by aliceoffical

fan06 prettiest girl in the world

y/nuser

Liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and others

y/nuser early morning⛅️

tagged: jackhughes

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jackhughes ❤️❤️

*liked by y/nuser

fan07 BREAK UP WITH JACK!!!

yourbff prettiest girl💗 i miss u

fan08 there’s no way he left alice for her😭

fan09 we want our fav couple back

You and Jack had been dating for a few months. You knew he was in a very public relationship with a model before he started dating you and you didn’t mind. Not until you and Jack went public and all of the internet seemed to be against your relationship. You never blamed him for having a past with Alice, but being constantly reminded that nobody wanted to see you and Jack together… It hurt. You weren’t sure why you haven't limited your instagram account yet, or why you didn't just go private. it was hard not getting caught up with what you saw online, and if there were going to be news articles and twitter pages posting about his past relationships, they may as well comment on your page too.

Jack was away for a game in Alice's home city when you got the twitter notification.

You turned off your phone and closed your eyes. You knew Jack was still friends with some of his exes, but with Alice it felt different. You knew they were serious before, and you couldn’t help but wonder that if he could, if he’d run off with her.

There were a bunch of different narratives floating around. Talking about how Alice is Jack's true love, and that they were destined to be together. You couldn't lie, after once again going down a rabbit-hole and looking at all the photos of them together, you couldn’t deny how in love they looked.

jack❤️: Did you see the photos of me and alice?

jack❤️: I only agreed to meet with her because of all the press. I don't want them talking about us getting back together. I made it clear to her that we’re over

jack❤️: I love you

y/n: I know. It's all just bullshit on the internet. I love you too. travel safe

jack❤️: I love you more. I'm really sorry about all of this. I’ll see you soon

When Jack finally got home things were different. you finally felt good in your relationship after the rough week when he was away.

“I’m really sorry about everything,” Jack reassured you for what seemed like the hundredth time.

“I just… with Alice it’s different. I don't want you to see her again. It’s gotten worse” you look down at your hands so you could avoid eye contact with Jack.

“The comments have gotten worse?” he asked, sitting up in bed to look at you.

“Yeah… I just, they want you guys back together so badly. It’s literally like a movie Jack,” your laugh was tense as you told Jack your true feelings. “I just don’t know if there’s room in your life for me,” you whisper after a brief pause and you feel Jack tense next to you.

“Pass me your phone,” Jack said, holding out one of his hands expectantly. You did as told and passed it over silently. He scrolled around for a minute, before showing you your own instagram comments causing you to frown.

“I know what they’re saying about me” you were annoyed. Did he want you to be more upset?

“No look at the accounts” he said.

“I don’t get it,” you stated, pulling your phone back into your grasp and scrolling through more comments.

“Do you know any of these people?”

“No…”

“Then what they’re saying shouldn’t matter. I’ve moved on from Alice, i’m with someone who I love” Jack cooed, reaching a finger up to touch your cheek causing you to smile. “There’s only room in my life for you. You’re the one I want y/n. I’m not reading these comments and agreeing with them. I text you, or I come home to you and I think I am so lucky to have y/n in my life” Jack smiles and so do you. He takes your phone back and disabled your instagram comments, and then limits his own. “I’m not going to let anyone make you feel like you don’t belong with me” was all he said as he started playing with your social media settings.

You sat back and admired the man you loved.

In the morning you and Jack laid in bed, your head resting on his chest as he combed your hair with his fingers. you felt so alive when you were with Jack. You could feel the little bubbles of happiness and excitement whenever you were with him.

you moved to sit up, looking down at Jack you smiled and he smiled back up at you. “morning” he mumbled as he trailed his hand down your shoulder and arm. “good morning” your smile widened as you leant down and kissed him on both of his cheeks.

you didn’t check your phone for the few days you stayed with Jack at his apartment. you were on a high, and you couldn’t believe how melancholy you’d get when you were feeling low.

#suki waterhouse fic list #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes one shot #jack hughes fic #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl blurb

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localcanadiancreature62 · 18 days ago

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The effects of Bill's conditioning on Ford + Other stuff:

One of the main effects is Dissociation. Ford's mind is partially shattered similarly to the way canon Fidds' is,although the difference is that Ford is still functional save for a few dissociative episodes where he ends up breaking something or zoning out midway into conversations while canon Fidds is completely unstable and insane.

This happens because whenever a real memory appears in his mind a memory that he ACTUALLY had instead of the various memories Bill implanted in his head,he ends up subconsciously trying to bury it as he believes that only the memories that Bill made are the ones that are real and thus it results in him dissociating. Another reason why he dissociates instead of his mind completely breaking like canon Fidds',is because Bill's mind fuck powers are different from the memory gun.

His mind warping is a fixated form of reality warping where whenever he manipulates a part of the brain,the changes he made are permanent until the subject is shown the entirety of their real memories before said changes were made. The dissociation is also a way of the subject subconsciously rejecting the mind warping despite the changes being fixed.

This is why Ford was dissociating in the first part of the A Perfect Day in the Perfect World fic. Also he constantly has headaches from the dissociation and also the occasional ringing in his ears (real life ear ringing comes from head injuries :]).

Bill doesn't do anything to fix this,as he knows full well that the cause is the memory erasures as if he fixes it then that would mean letting go of Ford. Another effect is Ford's self esteem getting warped. The fact that all of his "family" and his dear "friend" don't actually seem to care about him due to them being shallow bastards (little does he know that they're literally fake ass copies that were MEANT to be husks),makes him think that only Bill cares about him.

This also makes him think that even despite his ego,he isn't worthy of being loved or taken care of as he concluded that when only his partner is his support system and none of his family nor his friend actually cares about him then he deserves such treatment as he's worthless to everyone except for Bill.

Bill doesn't even feel guilty about this one,as it's a sign of his plan to have his genius all to himself is working. Ford simultaneously thinks that everyone loves him while also thinking that everyone doesn't care about him,the first part is due to his renowned reputation as the most influential CEO in Oregon while the other part is cuz literally no one but Bill loves him. This man is gonna need some therapy by the end of this,and a lot of hugs. Ford has depression now,also he has a hard time sleeping without Bill as he's terrified of being alone. He is horribly terrified of being alone as that would mean dealing with the aching feeling that no one but his dear triangular husband is actually there for him. He has depression and also is slightly unstable because of the fact that he has no one but Bill around,he is secretly depressed over the fact that he only has his husband for company as i mentioned before that he still feels negative emotions no matter how happy the Perfect World makes him. His instability shows from him acting paranoid and antsy whenever Bill isn't around,such as thinking that Fiddleford or Stan will hurt him or feeling like he wants to claw the walls when he's alone without his dear muse. Bill doesn't know this as the genius only acts this way when he's out in the multiverse doing his job as it's guardian,which means that he's entirely unaware of the fact that Ford is actively losing his mind from the isolation he forced on him just to have the man all to himself.

Bill's views on Ford's dwindling sanity changes a lot depending on his mood. Sometimes when he's fulfilling the "dear husband" role and is putting his energy on loving Ford,he gets guilty over indirectly causing the man to be this way but he denies it as he knows that fixing him would also mean letting go of the genius. Other times when he's trying to teach his researcher husband a lesson aka torturing him whenever he's going against him,he fully embraces Ford's suffering and is even proud of it as it's a sign of his plan to have the genius all to himself is working. In conclusion,Perfect World!Bill is just as unpredictable and temperamental as Canon Bill but it's just not as obvious due to him usually being happy go lucky from being SO glad to finally have his genius at his side while he's ruling the universe just like he always wanted.

Ford is secretly scared of Bill but he doesn't know why. Although it's because he subconsciously remembers that the triangle tortures him via mysterious healed wounds and blurry memories of a yellow figure hurting him. He occasionally flinches around Bill whenever the isosceles touches him and feels as though he's walking on eggshells whenever he talks to him,although he tries to ignore it as he's certain that his dear muse loves him and that strange figure wasn't him. Bill is fully aware of this and he didn't completely erase those memories on purpose,so that he could keep his ̶h̶u̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶p̶e̶t̶ husband in line. The only other person besides Bill that notices Ford's change in behavior is Fiddleford,as he is the only copy that has SOME semblance of sentience and real emotions although the amount he has is very low. Fidds occasionally worries for Ford and gets suspicious of how that triangle treats him based on the fact that the man flinches whenever he puts his hand on his shoulder or refuses to talk about his arguments with Bill whenever he asks,but Bill himself makes sure to erase these feelings and thoughts from him immediately to avoid Ford finding out about everything :].

Bill and Ford fuck often cuz marriage,however Bill doesn't get rough on him like he usually does anymore because he knows that hurting the man while he's keeping up the "dear husband" act would make him question things and thus try to leave him. Although he occasionally DOES get rough on him but he makes sure to make Ford forget immediately,during these rare occasions he basically plays with Ford like a human toy and utterly destroys him without any regard for the genius' pleasure at all,he just uses him up like a toy to satisfy himself. Ford doesn't remember those times at all,although he has blurry memories of getting knives stabbed everywhere on his body including his nuts and also getting his head bashed on the floor while the isosceles fucked him. Bill made sure to reverse the effects of every encounter,as he didn't want to have a broken toy. Plus whenever they normally bang,Bill is usually in his triangle form but he just summons a pp for himself so that he can properly fuck Ford (i refuse to make a human form for this specific Bill when i recognize him as the triangle). Also also whenever they bang normally,Bill is surprisingly gentle and tender with the fucking and he does in the most vanilla way since he has come to truly care about Ford even if it's under layers of possessiveness and manipulation. Bill does vanilla sex even if it's boring as he's willing to compromise for his dear husband. He knows that Ford likes being gently fucked so he does it anyway despite it being lame to him,plus he likes fucking his genius either way so it's fine. Also Ford makes sure to make up for that boring banging by pleasuring Bill himself so it's not all bad.

Ford is technically STILL a paranormal investigator,although it's more professional now that his company the Oregon Institute of Oddology gives him more resources and equipment for studying anomalies better such as traps lures as well as nets. He usually leaves the actual company work to Fiddleford whenever he's out studying anomalies in Gravity Falls,which the hillbilly doesn't mind as he was literally made to help deal with Ford's work.Bill erasing a memory from a person's mind mentally taxes them,which is why Ford gets tired whenever he erases something from his brain such as an argument or most negative experiences. The reason why Ford is still himself and has everything besides his memories intact is because Bill can't bring himself to change his beloved genius,if he took away his negative emotions and traits then he wouldn't be Ford anymore. Just a shell of him like the rest of the Perfect World inhabitants such as Fiddleford and Stan. Which is why Bill forces himself to deal with the man's outbursts and emotional lows,because he wants to be there for him even if it's difficult. Plus he could just erase his memory of negative experiences anyway so it's fine either way.

Ford isn't aware of the fact that he's living in a dream world,however Bill told him that he did a lot of positive changes to Oregon and Gravity Falls which explains why everything is different (he isn't technically lying though,he just leaves out the part that he replaced the og Dimension 46'/ with a dream version). (i just realized that half of this is just Bill being characteristically selfish and vile).

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deardolli3 · 5 months ago

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your blog is so cool! could you maybe do some erwin romantic or dadwin headcanons? thank you! 💫

erwin smith relationship hcs

a/n: hi lovie!! im sooo late to this but ofc!! thank you for requesting and ill be more active, i promise, so please request 🩵

• erwin is literally perfect when it comes to having a poker face, like lady gaga wrote the song cause she saw this man😭 you can never tell what he’s feeling but he can read you like a book, just by the way you spoke to him, or the way your eyes shine a different way.

• hes good at reading emotions but bad at comforting you (sorry but!!) and you could be like crying and hes just like

”there there…” 😟😕🙁 while rubbing your back and sighing deeply.

• he strikes me as one of those always on vacation to tropical ass countries guy. like with those hawaiian print shirts unbuttoned and swim pants on, he is so ready to sit on a beach chair while you do god knows what.

• never the type to get drunk and be flirty but he does get tipsy and tries to find you immediately because he wants to talk to you and maybe even dance a little

• take him to family events, THIS MAN GETS DOWNN!! all your aunties and family members can be on him and hes just like “why thank you, yes yes i know. oh wow is that for me?” 😁 and yes he can work them hips

• he doesn’t talk around people alot but with you its a straight yappathon with whatever the hell is on his mind and the topic changes within like two sentences😭

• he tans so easily its INSANE. like okay white boy my culture is not ur costume!!😣

• always always always remembers details about you, “why are you hanging out with her tonight i thought WE hated her?” and you gotta give him the new lore cause he not so secretively loves gossip. like okay boy what else you lurking around for😢

• omg he is so fucking funny when hes not trying to be😭 like shit goes down and he says something stupid and everyone’s laughing while hes sighing deeply wondering why they never laugh when he’s trying to be funny.

• sleeps like a rock, like a literal rock next to you, and he won’t ever budge. but if he hears any sudden movement or you hug him he jolts up and looks you dead in the eye like he just got shot😣 fucking dramatic ass LMAOA.

• if you have any kids best believe they’re very well mannered. OMG he goes hunting or fishing or whatever with them and he looks so fine like phewww…

• ladies… this man is not kinky please😭😭 vanilla sex or just no freakiness at all unless you initiate it.

• dates will always be dinner dates, and always so well though out and planned well. he either takes you shopping with all them carrrds or feeds you pasta and lobster. OR he takes you to run errands with him or go fishing/hunting/to a shooting range.

• in terms of pda, he always has a hand around your waist, but the most he can do is kiss you on the forehead to say goodbye or wrap a arm around your shoulder as you walk. and YES, he knows the sidewalk rule so you best be on the right damn side away from the cars.

• this man can bbq but not cook… he was literally trained to be a father/husband😭 you guys definitely have those backyard/patio bbqs.

• never ever wants you to overwork yourself, HELL YOU DONT EVEN NEEDD A JOB WHILE YOURE WITH HIM!! he just needs you to sit at home and look pretty for him when he comes back at night.

• definitely a business man in the modern day world, i would say a sergeant but maybe he retired from that position.

• he would want around three kids!! but whatever you want of course. he loves his kids endlessly and will literally kill for them. they have to learn how to protect themselves, they have to learn how to haggle with people, they have to learn to not be taken advantage of or treated as stupid, and they will pull the “do you know who my father is?” card when someone threatens them😭

• if you ever watched the notebook!! he would literally renovate a whole house for you or build you one and grow old together <33 he would build it however you want it, with a balcony, with a marble kitchen, etc, anything his love wants.

• and yes, he loves unconditionally even if he doesn’t show it so much through words, he will do it through his actions. he’ll get you anything you need even if you don’t ask, from a cup of water to a fucking car. HE WOULD EVEN BUILDDD A CAR FOR YOU??

• he loves you so so so much, and he literally cannot lose you😣 he would die for you, kill for you. he would bathe you in stars and swirl you onto the moon if you wanted, anything that’s possible? he’ll do for you.

HE LOVES YOU!!

— aaaa i hope you liked this!! 🩵

#ari’s mailbox #arise navi #ari’s rambles #headcanon #aot #attack on titan #erwin smith #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #aot erwin #levi ackerman #erwin headcanon #aot vets #bf headcanons #relationship #smut #aot smut

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dogcatrabbitbirdfan · 11 months ago

Text

on my satosugu bs

0 people asked, but i am such an insanely firm believer in 'geto fell first, gojo fell harder' and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

we don't see them when they first meet, but it's pretty natural to conclude that geto would've fallen first because why would it have been gojo? likely sheltered, self-centered, god-complex gojo? nope. i think it's pretty easy to fall for gojo, from geto's perspective, and it would've taken gojo a little longer to take down all the walls that he probably had up around letting himself love someone.

who fell HARDER though? oh my lord.

gojo, who showed literally no one else the same respect that he showed geto. gojo, who (despite having other friends) regarded geto as someone special to him on an entirely new level. gojo, who gave up his status as The Strongest so that they could share the title?? don't even.

what i think is the biggest part of geto's character is that once he realized what he wanted for the world, he never sacrificed his character or his own morals in pursuit of that world. for better or worse.

when geto left, though, gojo sacrificed the majority of his character AND morals just as a knee-jerk reaction.

the two times throughout the entire series where we see gojo as anything but overconfident, uncaring, and nonchalant are the two times where he sees geto in a way that hurts him. the first time, geto has killed over a hundred people, and gojo is so panicked that he yells at yaga and clenches his own fist so hard that he bleeds. he then proceeds to let geto go because he can't bring himself to kill the man that he was ordered to kill. the second time, geto is meant to be dead, and gojo is so stuck in the delusion that it might actually be him that he stumbles, lets himself get caught off guard, and gets trapped in the prison realm.

all that isn't even mentioning what he WOULD'VE sacrificed had geto just asked him to.

the problem with what geto did, to gojo, was never the killing. this is probably reasonable to assume because, after riko was killed, he offered up the possibility of killing every person in that room. it's not that he thought those people to be villainous perpetrators deserving of death, either; he knew that the star religious group themselves posed little to no threat. he knew that they didn't know why what they believed was harmful. he was fine with killing them all anyway, though.

since the beliefs that the village held carried the same weight and harm as the beliefs of the star religious group, geto killing them would've been the perfect equivalent of gojo killing the star religious group, which he was very willing to do. so, to gojo, the problem wasn't that geto took out that village, it was that geto didn't need him anymore going forth. this was such a distressing idea to gojo because the same absolutely could not be said for him. he needed geto in every sense of the word; as support, as a partner, as a friend. most importantly: gojo would've NEVER left geto like that. if he wanted to drastically change the way he lived and reshape jujutsu society, he would've asked geto to come with him. if he snapped one day and killed hundreds, geto would've been the first person to hear about it firsthand.

geto loved gojo but didn't let it dictate his decisions, cloud his judgement, or keep him from following his morals.

gojo, however, let his morals become ambiguous, his judgement become muddled and problematic, and would've dropped everything to follow geto if he had just said the word.

gojo was geto's best friend and someone he loved very dearly. geto was gojo's entire world, his only weakness.

#getou suguru #gojo satoru #satosugu #jjk #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk gojo #stsg #no one asked but i care about them so much #i love to study gojo like he's under a little glass dome

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demeterdefence · 9 months ago

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Thinking about your "Rachel bashing og greek myths" post, methinks she believed herself to be making greek culture a favor similarly to the author of The Phantom of Manhattan, the unofficial sequel to The Phantom of the Opera

In the preface, the author begins by saying that Phantom, unlike Frankenstein or Dracula, barely made a dent in world culture until Andrew Lloyd Webber came along to make the musical, which he considers the "true" version even tho like...it wouldn't exist without the novel! He bashes Gaston Leroux and basically states that his attempt at writing failed miserably and it's like DUDE, again, the musical and your problematic sequel wouldn't even exist without it, and just because it was bigger in France than in the usa it doesn't mean it had zero impact in culture

But of COURSE unless it's usa-approved then it doesn't count and isn't worth anything *sarcasm*

PHENOMENAL point, FANTASTIC point, absolutely true and correct

i can't be a total dick and say this is an issue solely created and implemented by rachel, because we've seen non-western cultures and religions absolutely whitewashed to hell and back - like, people have been drawing jesus of the bible as white for centuries when he was a middle eastern palestinian jewish man, and good god look what the west has done to the religions of india, china, and japan. but it's the way these kinds of stories drip with a sort of smugness in removing the original culture, in depicting it as backwards and broken.

rachel wants to claim she's making a feminist retelling, but the original myth was already feminist. ancient greece didn't pretend their society was not fiercely male dominated and patriarchal, and hades stealing persephone was absolutely in line with the traditional myths - the twist is that demeter wins. demeter punishes the male gods who stole her daughter, and the ferocity of her rage and grief forces hades and zeus to give in. if persephone hadn't eaten the pomegrante seeds, she wouldn't be in the underworld at all! this is a story that is so clearly a triumph for the mothers and daughters of ancient greece, of many worlds over, because it depicted explicitly that a mother's love was more powerful than even the gods. and rachel pisses all over that.

literally even going beyond that, looking at the society that is olympus and the underworld - all the technology they use, all the innovations they have. who exactly is making these??? where exactly is the material coming from??? you can handwave away most of the inventions by saying it's magic, but we've seen demeter talk about algebra, which was invented in the ninth century by a muslim scholar from persia. in speedrunning to this so called perfect modernized world, rachel actually erases the cultural offerings and developments of dozens of other ancient worlds, and kind of just gives the credit to the underworld, which is run by a slave driver.

persephone constantly bemoans the dullness of the mortal realm, and prefers to literally lounge around doing nothing, when the mortal realm is inventing the olympic games, the democratic forum, FOOTBALL. you have thousands of things to show the gods involved in - largely because the gods were the patrons!!! why do we never see zeus looking over the olympic games??? they happen in his sanctuary!!!

like the disdain rachel has for ancient greece is insane. she can't even bother to research the food typical of the time period, seeing as she writes persephone being looked down on for being vegetarian when vegetables were a key and staple diet of ancient greece. one could argue that a vast majority of ancient greece were vegetarian by general habit. she's baking cheesecake and french desserts and having fast food and carrot cake and maybe - maybe - she'll mention baklava. the ancient greeks are FAMOUS for their art, but we sure wouldn't know that from lore olympus. the only character who even references ancient greek music is apollo, with his lyre, and that's not exactly a ringing endorsement.

and this is not to say that an adaption has to follow the ancient text to a t - that's just not feasible and no one is expected to do so. but there's really something to how rachel does dismiss or ignore the canonical importance of so many of these stories to replace them with a western interpretation. even the therapy speak is grating. in episode 227, when persephone is talking about the concept of virginity, she's absolutely correct in pointing out how that's largely a social construct - but in light of the world she lives in and the world she helps control, the same idea could have been reached through means other than americanized psych talk.

so often, people will look back at the ancient world and think we are morally superior because we do not have the same views, or we have seemingly "developed." that is a view i abhor, because it removes the very act of learning and developing and understanding. rachel really talked big about how removing the incest of ancient greece made the story better, but incidentally, she managed to also take out the feminism, and literally the entire lgbt culture of ancient greece. apollo was even considered the patron of homosexuality! he was called to bless same-sex unions! zeus had DOZENS of male lovers; ares, hephestus, and hermes had known male relationships, and several of the ancient heroes and gods of greek mythology were described in terms we would refer to as transgender in modern times.

if rachel had gone "i'm writing a love story that's originally inspired by the myth of persephone and hades but it's very much modern and removed from the myths" that would be one thing, and i would not be bristling at that; myths have inspired countless stories over the centuries and will continue to do so for centuries to come. the problem is rachel wants to claim a rooting in these myths with zero understanding of how they work or why they work, and absolutely lets her contempt for the ancients shine through in every single aspect of her comic. it's gross and it's petty and she deserves none of the self-appointed "mythology expert" she's given herself.

#answered #anti lo #anti lore olympus #oh this is so long im so sorry anon i got heated lmao #me adding yet another run on sentence: AND ANOTHER THING -#i basically crammed six different essays in this reply anon forgive me i am so sorry #me going back to proofread this now that i'm slightly calmer: why did i use so many fucking commas

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randomthefox · 26 days ago

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So multiple people know Sonic was the phantom rider and agree with his decision

Including Jewel, who's meant to be the SMARTEST of the comic OCs. She even says it makes perfect sense.

So Lanolin is just a whiny idiot. Everyone in this comic keeps saying Sonic is right for being the phantom rider. The comic keeps showing us that Sonic is right for being the phantom rider.

The comic keeps HEAVILY implying that Lanolin is a moronic control freak and all the others are just putting up with her tantrums. There's no other way to interpret the information we've been given here.

What crimes did Sonic even commit as the phantom rider? He tried to win with aggressive methods? The last time I checked, that's the most common occurrence of sports competitions in Sonic's world. More proof that Lanolin is just a crybaby who can't handle the same basic things as everyone else.

If we're talking about when the road shattered and a bunch of people almost fell to their deaths that was caused by LANOLIN! And Sonic TRIED TELLING HER TO EASE UP! Sonic immediately helped the people who were falling btw. Almost like he's not a criminal or something.

What could Lanolin possibly accuse Sonic of? At best Lanolin will just cry about things that NO ONE ELSE is bothered by. At worst she'll somehow blame Sonic for when SHE nearly got a bunch of people killed.

She can't even use the card of "the world is in turmoil because Sonic keeps sparing Eggman" since every problem during clean sweep has had nothing to do with Eggman lol.

Btw

All these counters to Lanolin's stupidity are constructed around the assumption that Sonic and his friends will be inexplicably nerfed so the writers can force the story in whatever direction they want.

A properly written Sonic would go "What? Shut up!" and punt Lanolin five miles away the instant she tried doing anything to him.

But even while ignoring what a correct portrayal of Sonic would and should do, there's still no way for Lanolin to win this.

What can she possibly do? Other than bitching and moaning about the most frivolous things?

Literally EVERYBODY who found out about Sonic being the Phantom Rider basically went "oh, guess he's trying to do some Cool Guy shit."

INCLUDING Clutch and Mimic, INCLUDING the Babylon Rogues, INCLUDING the gay birds, and INCLUDING Jewel.

It's actually kind of hilarious that Lanolin is the odd man out with this reaction

LITERALLY everyone else who found out said "well, it's Sonic, so he must be doing the right thing." But when Lanolin finds out, AFTER CLUTCH HAS JUST BEEN EXPOSED AS A TERRORIST AND A CRIME BOSS AND JUST HAD A PUBLIC MELTDOWN WHICH SHE WITNESSED, she says Sonic is a "dangerous criminal" who needs to "face justice."

Like. Bruh. She is CLINICALLY INSANE. There is no other way to interpret this character.

And I still reject the suggestion that these are intentional character flaws that we as the audience are supposed to view as negative attributes about her character, because NOBODY IS CALLING HER OUT. Tangle and Whisper are desperately justifying their actions and pleading with her to not hurt Sonic. When they SHOULD be telling her "what the fuck is WRONG with you, it's SONIC, why don't you SHUT UP you stupid bitch." The fact that NO CHARACTER IN THE COMIC is telling Lanolin to blow it out her ass, when they have ZERO reason to like or fear her, makes it pretty clear to me that the character being a massive turbo cunt is not the intention of the writing.

#idw sonic #sonic idw #lanolin the sheep #foxeh reads idw

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doverstar · 1 year ago

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abed/annie is my community otp, so I would love to hear your essay if you’re willing to share ♥️

girl it would be my pleasure

this is going to be an absolutely enormous word-vomit, please prepare-

I want to start off by saying I actually think Abed is genuinely a little bit crazy. Yes, he might be on the spectrum or have some disorder but the show is so loose with that it never really confirms it, so I’m not going to confirm it either, I just think there’s something-something-spectrum there but I’m not educated enough to understand exactly what they’re communicating he has or is dealing with. I think the safest thing to assume is indeed that he’s insane (he said it himself; he saw literal lava when Troy was leaving) but in a small, functional, unique way that doesn’t make him dangerous except when he wants to cut people’s arms off because “Evil Abed has taken over” hello someone do something about that –

Anyway. It’s super difficult for me to understand what goes on in his head episode-to-episode, but with Annie it’s actually easier? Abed has such a specific set of needs when it comes to relationships that it’s a miracle he found the study group at all. He’s so smart and creative and he’s actually very empathetic and sweet but he doesn’t always seem to know how to express things.

Annie is clearly Abed’s second-best friend in the show (it helps that the actor/actress are best friends too). When he can’t turn to Troy, he can always turn to Annie. She understands him and there’s never been a point where we see that start or end—it just naturally happened and they’re both used to it. Abed is always touching her, always sitting by her, always making eye contact with her, and if you pay close attention to even background scenes, he’s measuring her reactions to things more often than anyone else’s. If I had to guess, I think she’s the group member he understood faster than any of the others. Abed (this is, from what I’m told, part of being on the spectrum? but like I said I am uneducated and don’t want to definitively say something the show decided not to be clear about) needs certain things to be a certain way, or he can’t operate normally. He panics, or gets angry, or tries to mutilate Jeff Wingers. He genuinely thinks he is crazy, and he genuinely thinks no one he meets will be able to deal with him for an extended amount of time. (Let’s begin at the beginning from his POV.) Abed meets Annie (and the group), and she seems like the typical Molly Ringwald girl-next-door; pretty, smart, wants popularity, ambitious. That’s why he chose her when he created the study group. Annie is all of these cliched things, but hey, quickly it’s pretty clear Annie needs things to be a certain way. Annie needs structure and lists and good grades. So she gets it when Abed needs that, what a pleasant surprise! And part of that is that Annie empathizes with everyone around her, without even trying, so much so that she’s depicted often as the heart of the whole study group. She gets Abed, both because they’re the same in lots of ways and they’re the opposite. She can crush easily, explode easily, cry easily, laugh easily. Everything Abed has no idea how to emote. Annie is a volcano of emotions, and they’re triggered most when she’s feeling because of or on behalf of other people.

So here’s this girl near his own age who is orderly and structured, and knows how other people feel and can enter in with them emotionally, including Abed. She’s so nice, and tries so hard. She’s even good at playing pretend (Mixology Certification, party of one?). What a perfect leading lady for the life-movie Abed sees everywhere he goes (because that’s how he makes sense of the world). Annie is the ideal female star he’d want in any story: the girl full of passion and drive.

But then there’s Jeff—the study group’s Judd Nelson—presumably the perfect leading man. When Abed first handpicks the group in the pilot and first season, Jeff wants Britta. Hey, that makes sense, Britta seems to be the leading lady type, actually! She’s nice, she’s strong, she’s beautiful. Works perfectly. And look, Annie wants Troy—the brainy bubbly girl wants the dumb jock, that makes sense too. Everything works. Then things start changing within the dynamic. Troy is actually not that dumb, and not that sports-obsessed—he’s fun, and he’s the ideal bro for Abed, but he doesn’t work with Annie. Britta is not that nice, and not that strong—she’s bad at everything, and she doesn’t understand people, she just wants to and is constantly trying to portray (and then hopefully become) the kind of person that does. And Jeff is a stunted jerk who needs reformation.

Oh, Annie is Abed’s friend now too. She said it herself, and that’s rare in Abed’s life. She called them really good friends, and that’s so important to him that he’ll sit in a room for 26 straight hours with nothing to do because Annie asked him to do it. Troy is not the only character Abed would give up control for. There’s one other from the start, because the moment she told him with all her earnest doe-eyedness they were friends, she had him hook line and sinker.

Season 1 progresses. Jeff and Britta might still work, and Abed seems mildly interested in that if only for the cliches—maybe Britta can make him better. No, wait, Britta is bad at that too. Actually, they’re not good for each other. Actually, they’re bad for each other—they’re bad for everyone. But they have similar terrible flaws and habits, so maybe they do make a good pair. Still fine leads. Still works. And besides, Annie has filled in the place of Troy with hippie Vaughn, which is also fine. Doesn’t really work long-term, but Jeff and Britta drive the plot forward more anyway, so the focus should be on them, right? The group is working. The group is thriving. The TV of life moves along.

(Except Jeff kissed Annie to win the Man Is Good/Evil debate. And Abed predicted it. Which means he was thinking about that as a possibility, because he operates on variables and tries to understand outcomes so that he’s not surprised by anything and can keep his friends for longer by relating to and reacting to them better. Jeff has leading man vibes, Annie has leading lady vibes, that’s one potential outcome. And though he insists he’s just making hypotheses based on what he’s learned about his friends so far, when it does happen right in front of them in real life, they kiss, Abed is just as shocked as the others—he literally can’t take his eyes off them until the debate is won. Then afterward, he tells Shirley he can’t predict the future and uses his plans for Pierce being discovered as a genius next in his home-movies as an example, which he believes would never happen—then Britta calls Pierce a genius right in front of him and Abed looks visibly concerned. Maybe what he predicts about his friends will keep happening, even the things he thinks are the least likely of the potential outcomes. Maybe even Jeff and Annie as the two leads. But that doesn’t make sense, does it? Jeff and Britta are endgame, aren’t they? Annie is too young for a leading man like Jeff. Annie is too nice; Jeff is too selfish. Annie is gorgeous and driven, Jeff is handsome and needs fixing, that would work, no, it would change things too much, it’s too unlikely, back to Jeff and Britta, back to playing with Troy and studying film, don’t give it a second thought—)

Transfer dance happens. Annie is going away for the summer with Vaughn. Classic Annie, has his back, always doing the better thing for the plot, bringing a good end-of-Season twist, but it’s okay, as far as he knows she’ll be back in the fall and besides, Abed’s got to-roomie-or-not-roomie with Troy issues to deal with.

And then the new semester starts after the transfer dance. And Anthropology 101 happens (again, one of my favorite episodes for the group fight at the end when it comes to my lil ships). I’M GONNA TALK ABOUT ANTHROPOLOGY 101 NOW. For A CHUNK of time. Jeff and Britta are doing relationship-drama stuff Abed doesn’t quite care about, until Shirley suggests he’s being selfish and that a real friend would enter into Jeff and Britta’s [incredibly fake and nasty] “happiness” and Abed thinks that could work. Actually, progressing Jeff and Britta’s relationship is a goal he can definitely work with. In fact, if you pay attention to the show, whenever there is an opportunity to advance or out Jeff/Britta, Abed takes that opportunity. And whenever there is an opportunity to put JeffAnnie in an uncomfortable or inevitable, c’est la vie light (which two independence-heavy freaks like Jeff and Annie would consider negatively) he takes that too.

Abed urges Jeff/Britta to get married right there in the library before the fight, gives them the ring, because he thinks that’s the next logical step in their grossness. Special episode, all about Jeff/Britta, endgame endgame endgame! He can work with that. In fact, he’s happy to control that. He leaves the room to inexplicably get an Irish singer, dead-ringer Clooney, and a transportable wedding set.

When he comes back and tries to prep the group for the special wedding episode, everyone is tense and Jeff is bleeding from the nose, and Abed does not notice; he’s intent on advancing the plot and the endgame. Then Troy says, “Abed. Jeff made out with Annie.” And Abed’s immediate reaction is “What? Where? When?” And he looks unhappy, like the rest of them. Jeff made out with Annie, and that means everything Abed thought he understood is incorrect. (And I think it bothers the crap out of him and he doesn’t have the ability to unpack why that is the way most people do because he’s different. Surely he’s just angry for the same reasons the rest of the group is? That must be it. That must be why he’s angry specifically with Jeff, not Britta in any tangible way, or even Annie in a tangible way—until later, which I’ll talk about eventually.) Annie tells him they kissed after the transfer dance in a guilty voice, which is a sheepishness she does not respond with to any of the other members of the group. It’s almost like she’s picking up on Abed’s emotion specifically this time. And while everyone else in the group explodes, and Jeff reduces his kiss with Annie to something he should be ashamed of (accurate) because men are monsters who crave young flesh and Annie looks absolutely crushed like a deer in the headlights, Abed starts packing up to leave. And we only see how angry he is right then—he doesn’t enter into anyone else’s problems. We see him react to “Jeff made out with Annie”, and then this is the next time we see him react. Jeff asks where he’s going and Abed throws out a quippy “I now pronounce you cancelled” with a bounce of his eyebrows in an angry way, at Jeff, and when he tries to leave Jeff hurls insults at his back and Abed stops in the doorway, in a normal-person—again, angry—way and turns around and drops one of the sickest burns of the whole show, that TV makes sense and has “likeable leading men”, and says “In life, we have this. We have you.” And walks out. His anger is not directed at anybody else. He doesn’t help Troy with the Pierce situation. He doesn’t try to fix any of it. It’s like he heard “Jeff made out with Annie”, learned the specifics, and was standing there reeling until eventually he decided he couldn’t deal and went to leave, and wouldn’t have shown just how angry he was with Jeff unless Jeff had provoked him, which he did.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE’S MAD JEFF KISSED ANNIE, JUSSAYIN’-

let me pretend I’m a 14-year-old shippy fangirl in my reasoning, okay-

Abed likes logic, and as Season 2 continues, Jeff/Annie gets more and more logical. In fact, even though he has noticed that Jeff and Britta are secretly hooking up in the background of the Season, he is not surprised in Paradigms of Human Memory when Annie calls Jeff out for the will-they-won’t-they he’s been enacting with her, and even says there is something between the two of them, matter-of-factly, which Jeff refuses to own up to. But Abed and Annie are getting closer and closer, too. It’s subtle, but it’s clear they’re 100% comfortable around each other. That becomes super clear by Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas, when, besides Troy, Annie is the only other character to enter into Abed’s way of thinking and play with him, because it’s genuinely important to him and she recognizes that this is what he needs, when everyone else kind of drops off. She helps Abed and Troy stop Duncan from dealing with Abed in a practical, normal way, because she sees that Abed is dealing with something and can only deal with it his way to get through it. That’s incredibly rare for Abed, we see. He’s very attached to her—like I said, often touching her, often sitting by her, often reacting to her.

(I mean hi, in English As A Second Language, Abed thinks he won’t be affected by Annie’s Disney Face; when everyone else obeys Jeff in closing their eyes to it, Abed doesn’t. “Oh don’t worry about me, I can only connect to people through...movies...” literally stops in his tracks when he sees her Disney Face with the cutest wistful twitch of a smile. Jeff has to Indiana-Jones-reference him to make him look away. He doesn’t only connect to people through movies—at least, Annie can get through to him without the need of movies; he’s not a quirky lil robot, he can have normal feelings, but boy does it seem like Annie is the one bringing them out of him more often than most. she gets under his skin ajhzsdkejdb-)

Abed definitely has a crush on Annie. But he doesn’t know how to deal with that or portray it. To his mind, Annie should be with a leading man. Any time he flirts with her, he is pretending to be a leading man from a movie or show. (For a Few Paintballs More, anyone?) Because that’s who she should be paired off with. And that’s what she wants, right? She loooves Jeff Winger now. Britta’s not the leading lady, she never was, that role was always Annie’s, and it makes sense she wants Jeff, and it makes even more sense that Abed is observing the love story, not part of it. Abed is not the leading man, he’s the computer. He watches, analyzes, does not get involved or get the girl.

But he still wants her around, and he can have that much—in fact, when he moves in with Troy and Annie tells him she loves their place, Abed instantly suggests she move in. Not Abed and Troy. Just Abed, and he does not discuss it with his roommate. And Troy seems confused and surprised and gives Abed such an interesting look right after. Annie moves in, Abed agrees to sacrifice some of his routine for her (blanket fort for he and Troy, full bedroom for Annie), things are happy. Things are fine. She puts away his buttered noodles when he’s not finished with them, but she adapts to his needs when he expresses he doesn’t want her to do that; she breaks his Batman DVD but he adapts by forgiving her in a role he can express that in—Batman himself, plus, bonus, he gets to flirt with her as that leading man—and things are better. But then Annie starts trying to control things. Annie starts trying to make life go according to the movie in her head. She tries to get Britta and Troy together, which not only robs Abed of his best friend for a day and disrupts his routine, it makes him angry with Annie. And not just because she tampered with the group’s dynamic, which he doesn’t want anyone else but him to do. okay we’re caught up NOW I get to talk about Virtual Systems Analysis, which is my FAVORITE COMMUNITY EPISODE-

Throughout that episode, Annie is trying to speak in Abed’s language in the Dreamatorium in order to teach him empathy. In the past, she’s had success in communicating with him on his level, but this seems extra hard for some reason. She sees somehow through his expressionless face right away and sees he is angry with her, and though he tries to deflect by saying she’s going to ruin the group by meddling, she eventually does recognize what the problem is. At first she’s convinced Abed just wants Abed’s way and that he needs to be taught how to think of others first (she’s right), but he hears her say that to Troy and it spirals him right into the worry he always has—that he’s crazy, that he’s a problem, that he’ll never fit in because of that, and that when Annie (and anyone else) tries to deal with or fix him, they will get sick of it, give up, and toss him aside. He was already angry with her for a different reason, not just wanting his way again—but now he’s sure she’s done with Abed, too. So he becomes someone else, everyone else, to make his point: that she’s just messing with Britta and Troy so that nothing will stand in the way of her and Jeff.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS WHEN HE IS PRETENDING TO BE JEFF TO HER? He says, “With Abed gone, and Troy and Britta together, there’s nothing standing in the way of us.” With Abed gone. Why did he say that? Because with Abed gone, Annie gets to be in control of everyone? Obviously not. Or is it because out of everyone, every variable, the only other match that makes sense for Britta is Troy and the only other match that makes sense for Annie is-

Oops, Freudian slip. Oh, she’s not falling for it. And Abed is mad at her because he thinks she set up Britta and Troy so she could be with Jeff. Abed is mad that that’s what she wants. And when she tries to argue it’s not, he literally pretends he is her, logicking it out at her, trying to convince her that that is what she wants, because that’s what he thinks she wants, and her controlling things to cause JeffAnnie makes him mad. But c’est la vie, it’s inevitable anyway, right? Why isn’t she seeing that? Why is she trying to talk about him, he doesn’t want to talk about him, especially not after what she said about him— Then she fights back and tells him that she does not love Jeff, she loves the idea of being loved and if she can teach a guy like Jeff to love her, she’ll never be alone. And then she finds out that’s what Abed is afraid of, too. No—that’s what Abed is used to. “I’ve run the simulations, Annie. I don’t get married. [Why is that the first thing he said?] I don’t etc. etc.”

He’s afraid he’ll be alone, and people will always be getting tired of him and throwing him away. Didn’t Annie get tired of him? But she doesn’t, she’s not—in fact, she understands him. She shows him other members of the group understand that feeling, too. She uses his language to explain to him that he’s wrong, and that neither of them should be trying to make life go according to a script in their heads. Abed sees that she does understand, and if she can get into his head and understand him, she really can do it with anyone, and if she can do it, maybe he can too. Annie helps him and makes him a better person, because she reminds him to empathize, which is something Abed didn’t think he could do. Okay I just spent a long time talking about Abed’s perspective. A tiny bit of Annie now, because this is going on too long. As for Annie, she is afraid of being alone and unloved. She’s “psycho”, she’s crazy too, because someone who empathizes that much and can exude that much emotion does seem crazy to other people. She’s a different crazy than Abed, but her brand of psycho lends itself well to getting and communicating with him, because his crazy is escapism and her crazy is confrontation. His crazy is emotionless, her crazy is emotional. His crazy is control, her crazy is compassion. Her parents cut her off, her high school shunned her, Troy never noticed her, of course she’s scared of being ditched. Of being unimportant. Annie’s need to be perfect comes from the need to feel valued. And doesn’t Abed understand the need to not feel left alone? Doesn’t he understand everything needing to be just so, doesn’t he understand wanting to feel important but never expecting it? Just the computer. Just the observer. Wait. Didn’t he invite her to live with him, voluntarily? Doesn’t he always seem to be choosing her to sit by, don’t they always seem to be reassuring one another with a look or a touch? He gets how she feels about Jeff and Britta and their monopolization (hi Basic Sandwich), he gets when she’s feeling insecure, he gets when she needs to escape, just for a second, to pretend to be someone else in any given scenario so that she can take a risk or get out of her comfort zone, and he excels at that so they often do it together. They don’t have to be alone, they have each other. Annie doesn’t have to be perfect, Abed doesn’t have to be normal, and neither of them have to be in control. But nobody listens to me and instead we have Jeff kissing Annie and Brie Larson in a sweater. And don’t get me started on VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing and why Abed and Annie are individually trying so hard to fight each other’s third-roommate preferences-

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shayshaybiscuit25 · 18 days ago

Note

It’s late, no grammar check. lol yes, I’m about to vent. Stay with me. This is mainly to the problematic individuals in this fandom and I’m sure they’ll reveal themselves by responding….because well they simply can’t help themselves. Hit dogs will holla.

What i don’t understand is why are people calling Chris names and fussing at him and celebrating when he fails, all due to their displeasure of his involvement in this stunt?

If it’s Pr, Chris is simply doing his fucking job regardless if he likes it or not, he has to sell this shit.

So to those who believe it’s fake, why the outrage?

Do you not realize if this was legit or deeper pr this would be so much worse for him and his fandom?!

Hollywood is a business and Chris is simply doing his job however long he’s supposed to, so instead of bitching and moaning about him online, how about sit back, shut up and wait for this to end.

Some people seriously think they are sane and can’t see their insanity.

If I get a project at work with a racist coworker, I can’t just quit my job or say no. If I go to HR that could fall back on me and that’s just the corporate world, now imagine Hollyweird and their power and their history of hiding things.

In a perfect world, Hollywood wouldn’t abuse their talent and use their personal lives to sell things all to make money for shit. It puts the talent in a horrible predicament where the talent will get ridiculed, their lives uprooted or ruined and not those in charge.

Jeez, when this ends watch Chris fully return to his usual predictable self…..he’s fucking human!!!

If people are legit mad and can’t see that this is a pr situation, or they scream how it is, yet get mad at each new development, simply log the hell off.

You basically confirm that some part of you believe it’s 100% legit or you simply wouldn’t react to things. 🤷‍♀️

Also make that make sense, you know it’s fake and Pr, yet you complain when the fake Pr is done? 😂

See those in pr know the truth, they are not sitting online messing with fandoms and calling the talent names or predicting when it’ll end.

We simply know it’s fake, Chris is doing his fucking job because if he doesn’t there are consequences and how fucked up is it that most in his fandom are calling him names over a business deal, yeah one part of the business deal equation is problematic, but seriously if you think this is PR, then calm the hell down.

The only way I’d be pissed at him is if I actually believed this shitshow and believed he married a very problematic woman and they were using pr to stay and gain relevancy.

Once this is over, I hope many in this fandom check their own shit before trying to call Chris out on anymore shit.

And to those claiming they don’t care for the man, stop fooling yourself because it’s clear as day you’re beyond OBSESSED!

Who the hell logs into a social media platform every fucking say to rant and bitch about a man and a fandom they claim to loathe, fuck out of here.

I’m so mad people don’t stop to think of the scenario that Chris himself is aware of how fucked up this is, was forced to involve family and friends and the consequences that came with that and how bad it looks and why he can’t figure out how his fandom can call the shit out as fake while still believing and falling for it, complaining when the next orchestrated thing is done and giving that girl more relevance then she deserves.

Make that shit make sense.

Simply IGNORE EVERYTHING! Especially her!

Chris’ actual life has been dragged into this shit and because people don’t know details they insert their own theories and speculation into the mix and get mad at him over THEIR OWN opinions, not facts!

He’s literally showed how depressed he was at one point, people say “oh well he signed the contract and knew the deal”, but how do YOU know that’s true. Do you all not see this man still half assing this and trying to do everything he can to sell this while not having to do certain things.

You all can’t wait for this to end, hell he probably can’t wait for this shit to end as well. People make assumptions that he can get out or it’s not that deep, again do you know that as fact, No. you don’t.

Things aren’t always as they appear.

Open your eyes people. You’re calling out Hollywood shit while still falling for Hollywood shit.

Can’t wait for the end and this man be able to get back to his life. I can’t image the stress he’s been under. People thinking they know more than they do and believing you’re a piece of shit when they don’t understand the entertainment business.

Let me tell you all a secret……reality tv isn’t real. 😆 shit is fake asf. Teleprompters and all. Most know things are scripted, but it’s soooo much more orchestrated than that, yet people are online screaming at each other over bs scenarios. It’s all entertainment and making money for various people. But see those people sign up to do that shit because that’s all they have to offer. Some know it’s fake and still watch it. Wrestling is scripted. The stunts are real, but choreographed. Some singers are in major debt to their labels, yet you’d never know. They have to prance around in public as though everything is fine, knowing each gig is needed to help their financial situation and get more opportunities.

When Hollywood plays that shit with actors and musicians, it makes one regret becoming famous and living their dream, who wants to deal with the bad side of Hollywood. It’s a reason some celebs lose their shit. Not being able to be yourself and having so many judge the littlest things. People be online saying some evil shit and then saying well the celeb won’t see it…..SO that gives you a right to be an evil piece of shit? Some celebs do indeed see that shit and as a human I can’t imagine the negative impact that has on someone.

But back to Chris…..

Fake Fans think they’ve seen his “true colors” not realizing this man hasn’t changed. People have noticed more of his bad habits and shit they chose to bypass in the past due to putting him on some bs pedestal, and believe oh he’s this terrible guy due to this shitshow. WRONG! Still the same sweet annoying soul.

Chris is still, the same meatball you all fell for, Hollywood is unfortunately Hollywood and if people knew that it’s not all glitz and glam maybe they’d show a little grace. Some of these celebs are in debt, stressed the fuck out, etc and presenting themselves as if their lives are peachy keen for business. And no I’m not saying Chris is in debt, that man’s finances is not my business.

To the genuine fans who’ve been disappointed yet have constructively and maturely voiced their displeasure, see this bs for what it is, casually throw shade at it and yet they choose to focus on his projects and ignore the obvious bs, thank you. 💙

I always say watch how people move once the mess they were in is over, then you can truly judge their character.

I’m tired, things will end soon enough. 🫠 then maybe some of you will move on with your lives. Hope my post provides a new perspective to some. Being a celebrity is fucking hard and it’s a hell of a JOB!!! 😮‍💨

OMG! YOU HAD TIME TO WRITE ALL OF THAT?

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blog-of-hubris · 1 year ago

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Jujutsu Kaisen Chapter 238: Shinjuku Showdown, Part 19

Oh boy oh boy. Another jjk chapter with Sukuna showing off why he is the KING of Curses. Beyond his strength, he speaks like a king to those he defeats, and his meaning is very esoteric.

I'm going to go full fanboy in this post, everyone, so please forgive me if you are here to hear bad things about jjk (you're weird, btw).

Perfection...Beautiful..

Kashimo looking at Sukuna with X-ray and seeing nothing but perfection is exactly what I feel looking at Gege.

But on a serious note.. Finally, seeing Sukuna's true form in action is insane!!! He looks so terrifying, and Kashimo knew that instantly. Sukuna not having any strain on his heart or lungs due to the build of his body is so damn impressive. I love seeing him flexing his perfection to Kashimo and then blitzes him.

I love this moment because it's showing how much Kashimo overestimated his ability to fight Sukuna. I knew Kashimo was a non factor, and Sukuna made it APPARENT. He literally showed Kashimo, he just was not that good, lol. (I was never a Kashimo fan, so this is nice for me).

Sukuna is quite truly beautiful. Gege gave him such a design to reflect him being the peak of jujutsu. I just want to say thank you to gege for following through so thoroughly on this.

Then to go even farther and give us Sukuna's feats against the great sorcerers of the past was even better. He defeated the Sun, Moon, and Stars squad that Uro was once a leader of. I love Gege doing this type of stuff, man!

If you remember, Uro's vision of calamity when talking to Yuta was Sukuna, and when Sukuna revived she knew it was him just based off his cursed energy. Gege made sure that all of this was continued by giving us more lore on Sukuna's final form.

It's these little things that really move me in story telling. Connects those dots for us!

We Are Loved Because We Are Strong

Sukuna's speeches to people after defeating them is becoming one of my favorite things in jujutsu kaisen. I already loved his moment with Jogo + his final words to Gojo, but now we can add Kashimo to this list, lol.

I love Sukuna mentioning Yozoru's words to Kashimo, because it directly reflects the short conversation we saw between Kashimo and Kenjaku. Kashimo wanted to go against Sukuna to feel fulfilled. Initially, I took this as a warrior fighting for the fulfillment of a real fight, or a true fight to the death. Kashimo is similar Gojo, where he felt all the surrounding sorcerers were below him, causing him to separate himself as an entity. However, this was dissatisfying for Kashimo. The difference between him/Gojo and Sukuna, is that the king of curses accepted that as a fact of life. Due to this fact, he saw the world as his playground, and anything that went against his desires were to be destroyed.

“You know the answer you seek, you just can't comprehend it, right..?”

I love this quote by sukuna. Implying that kashimo knew all along the answer to his soul's dilemma.

“Is strength solitude”?

That question is always known by the strong, but I think sukuna's lesson was to deeper understand how to live as the strong.

“You were strong”

I see this as sukuna reminding kashimo that because of his strength, love should be known. Those under you will love you because you are strong. He goes on to tell kashimo that the ones who challenged him did not do so to curse him, but to be recognized and to validate themselves. That itself is love, or maybe an easier word to translate it would be “admiration”.

Admiration however is a product of love. That is how sukuna connects with those below him. I believe Uraume is the example of this, as he/she has been by sukuna's side for seemingly the longest. That love Uraume has is most likely the best execution of love sukuna can have for one below him.

(it makes me wonder why uraume is so special)

Telling kashimo that he was strong, but also lamenting is greedy. Wow, sukuna... when you think about it, sukuna's outlook is very royal and fits that of a being existing on a higher frequency. What Sukuna is trying to relay, is that being the strongest comes with natural love (or being strong in general). It is when you begin to hate that strength or see it as a burden that you begin to lose sight of that love. Those around you love you for your strength, even those that challenge it have some form of admiration and search for recognition from that strength.

This takes me to when Nanami said to Gojo that he also once believed they should just send him out on every mission. Gojo felt that he could never be understood, and that burden carried with him his entire adult life. Before, he had Geto who he saw as his equal, best friend and dare I say other half. That is why he wished that Geto was there, patting him on his back. Gojo felt separated from everyone, even if he loved them, he still felt isolated. I believe that Geto was Gojo's “love” and that is why he could never truly feel satisfaction.. He could never save Geto.

(Sorry to go back to the sadness that is Gojo's separation from others as a human due to his exceptional skills as a sorcerer, but all of this ties in together so well).

Kashimo and Gojo both got “greedy”. They were strong, but also wanted to hate that strength instead of taking everything that came with it and finding true satisfaction within. Gojo felt pure isolation from his talent, while Kashimo felt lament because he could never have an equal. Both of these stemming from feeling the need for others to fulfill them, which is why Sukuna believes that...

Love is Useless...

Sukuna calls love useless. I find this so intriguing, because the “love” he spoke of was surrounded by the motif of “the strong”, and also he straight up says the thought of needing someone else to fulfill him never crossed his mind. He never thought that another person would give him the satisfaction he wanted, instead he put his desires first.

“I live according to my own stature. If that can't be measured or understood, that's not my problem”.

MEGUMI? YOU HEAR THAT?!

My god i hope megumi is listening. I talk with @theanimepsychologist about megumi coming back and also how sukuna is possibly his golden shadow. To expound on this train of thought, I see all of this as Gege playing deeper into Sukuna's role as megumi's catalyst.

In simpler terms, I see Sukuna & Megumi's dynamic on the same level as Mahito & Yuji's. Mahito propelled Yuji's understanding of being a jujutsu sorcerer, while Yuji propelled Mahito as a curse. For Sukuna and Megumi, Sukuna saw Megumi's technique as something to gain. There could possibly be more he plans on doing with the ten shadows specifically, giving him an even more powerful arsenal than he had before.

For Megumi, Sukuna was the first to make him see himself as a stronger person. The words “why did you run away” stuck in megumi's mind from the first fearsome womb chapters. That was when he discovered he could place things in his shadow, and from there he began to elevate each arc.

Sukuna being in Megumi's body right now feels like a terrible journey of enlightenment for megumi. I find it interesting that sukuna states he was born cursed and unwanted. Megumi talks as if he was treated the same way, even believing his father is still alive living it up somewhere. Megumi has no idea he faced his father in shibuya, or that his dad wanted him to be something outside the zenin clan. Even if he did end up there, he believed megumi would be okay because he was talented. Megumi never saw himself as wanted by his family, and his cope for that was Tsumiki.

Sukuna was different, he chased after his desires alone. He believed he could make himself happy, and that there was no one else who could fulfill that. Megumi losing Tsumiki is so difficult for him because he relied on Tsumiki as his heart and conscious. At first, megumi was indifferent, but expressed himself boldly. Tsumiki's positive outlook is what moved megumi, and that was all the family he had. Megumi isn't heartless as sukuna may naturally be, but his decision to save people has left him too selfless.

For megumi to return, I need to see his understanding of self-worth change. He needs to see his strength and importance as an individual to truly understand the love that comes from being strong. In order to save people, you need strength, but you cannot develop that strength without having a stronger sense of self to dismantle any sparks that fly your way.

"Its okay to be selfish"

"A jujutsu sorcerer's growth never comes easy"

(I could continue on about this megumi and sukuna connection but i think my point is made)

That is why Sukuna said love is useless. There is no need to look to another to satisfy yourself. To understand yourself is to understand your desires. And to be true to one's self is to chase after those desires without remorse. He hasn't changed a beat from when he spoke to Jogo, and I love consistency.

What Can You Do...Brat?

The final spread of the chapter was C R A Z Y! Uraume and Hakari break out of the domain with no damage on either person, while Higaruma and Yuij (with scales and claws??) begin to drop.

WTH?

My assumption is that they are going to try to get Sukuna into Higaruma's domain to win a trial and take away Sukuna's CT. This could work, but I'm worried that even without a CT, sukuna is still going to be very proficient in his raw CE usage unlike the other sorcerers Higaruma has faced. Maybe that is all they need to start the process to save megumi, or something else entirely crazy that only gege can come up with!

Truly endless possibilities.

Gege is continuing to Gege (whatever that means) and I will continue to not miss a beat. I believe we have a break coming up, so we will have to digest on this chapter a bit before we figure out what's going on!

#jjk 238 #jujutsu kaisen chapter 238 #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujutsu kaisen manga #jjk 238 meta #gege akutami #weekly shonen jump #dh🍵#jujutsu kaisen #manga #manga meta

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lucky-clover-gazette · 6 months ago

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prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 8

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

It had not been easy to prise out all the information, but Damen had provided the mercenary with a sustained, methodical and unrelenting incentive to talk.

this is a fun line. also, another little hint that kinda offsets the flogging in book 1. like yeah it was bad, without or without the Brother Killer Context, but it’s not like damen is above similar methods of torture towards his enemies. and that’s what damen had been to laurent, at the time—literally his worst enemy in the entire world, except for maybe the regent.

Damen would need to take his horse off the road, and ride straight, as the crow flies, cross country. He didn’t hesitate, spurring his horse up the first slope.

and now i’m hearing the twilight princess hyrule field music. i am not complaining

It was a tactic that reeked of the Regent. All of this was: this convoluted trap reaching across the landscape to splinter the Prince from his troop and his messenger, so that to save one meant to sacrifice the other. As Laurent had proven. Laurent, to save his messenger, had surrendered his own safety, sending away his only protector.

context: yeah i think this is actually an accurate assessment of the situation

Damen tried, for a moment, to think his way into Laurent’s situation, to guess how Laurent would evade his pursuers, what he would do. And realised he didn’t know. He couldn’t even make a first guess. Laurent was impossible to predict.

damen: imagines laurent pulling off some kind of insane rube goldberg machine of tactical evasion, or taking out several armed men while cornered in an alleyway

laurent:

Laurent, the infuriating, obstinate man that he was, was impossible, wholly and completely.

His arrogance was unbearable. If he had deliberately left himself open to attack, if he was caught by one of his own games . . . Damen swore, and focused his attention on the ride to the camp.

oh i go CRAZY for the “i’m upset with you because you endangered yourself and i want/need you to be okay” trope

Laurent was alive. Laurent sidestepped everything he deserved. He was slippery and sly and he had escaped the attack in the town with chicanery and arrogance, as usual. Curse Laurent for this.

okay i’m lost, why is damen mad at laurent? to my understanding, it went like this:

people came to attack laurent and the messenger, splitting up between the two tasks

which then forced damen and laurent to split up. damen did not want to leave laurent unprotected, but knew that somebody had to make sure the messenger was okay. he told laurent to trust that he would succeed and return to camp, agreeing to make it back in a certain timeframe.

damen learned that the people pursuing the messenger were on horses, which meant that the timeframe was miscalculated. but still he went and stopped them, interrogated one, learned about planned attacks on laurent and the camp, and hustled to get there.

in the uber there, damen alternates between fretting about laurent’s safety and imagining all of the harmful ways laurent could have somehow manipulated him or the situation.

it’s unclear to me here if, at this point, damen has actually arrived and found laurent alive (and is pissed about it?), or if he’s just entertaining a hypothetical scenario in which laurent has manipulated him into… what? protecting the messenger and interrogating the pursuers? damen was going to do that anyway. it was in both of their best interests that it got done. and laurent hadn’t known about the horses, so the timeframe had seemed reasonable.

i thiiiiiink this is a hypothetical imagining, and an aftershock from the past 20 chapters, rather than an accurate assessment of the present situation. damen still expects laurent to screw him over, despite the night they shared, because he’s experienced the entirety of the captive prince and 7 chapters of the prince’s gambit. in terms of pattern recognition, it’s not an unreasonable thing to expect. still, it does frustrate me, which might be the entire point. a first-time reader might be thinking more along the lines of damen, which bodes well for that assumption being proven wrong shortly.

also - i could just be totally missing something, or underestimating laurent’s overall situational awareness. that’s what happened the first time i read the series—i felt so awful for laurent towards the end of book 2, and was frustrated with damen for keeping up the lie! although in this case i suppose i’m thinking less about laurent's awareness and more about his intentions? i don’t know. i’ve scrutinized this passage enough. i’m just going to keep reading.

The Laurent who had sprawled out by the fire seemed so far away, limbs unwound, relaxed, talking . . . Damen found that memory was inextricably tangled with the glint of Nicaise’s sapphire earring, the murmur of Laurent’s voice in his ear, the breathless brilliance of the chase, rooftop to rooftop, all of it woven into one long, mad, endless night.

laurent’s conscious delusion about damen not being the same person as damianos, vs. damen’s subconscious delusion about bitchy laurent not being the same person as charming laurent. everyone loses

None of the men he saw was a yellow-haired prince in a woollen cap. And just as he feared the worst, just as all that he had not let himself believe for the long ride began to push itself to the front of his mind, Damen saw him, drawn out of one of the mostly intact tents not six steps away, and gone still at the sight of Damen.

haha you didn’t want him to be deadddddd

it might be scarier to damen that laurent is not trying to screw him over and has survived, than if he had done something hurtful and/or died. given the way laurent freezes at the sight of damen, he’s probably thinking something similar about his voluntary return. like “shit—the worst hasn’t happened. what now? and how do i deal with the fact that laurent dying/damen leaving was, in fact, the worst-case scenario?”

His newly minted hair was uncovered, and he looked as fresh as he had emerging from the baths the night before, as he had waking beneath Damen’s hands.

context: laurent disguised himself as a prostitute in a brothel. the yassification was a convenient side effect of the overall scheme

‘You’re alive,’ Damen said, and the words came out on a rush of relief that made him feel weak. ‘I’m alive,’ said Laurent. They were gazing at one another. ‘I wasn’t sure you’d come back.’ ‘I came back,’ said Damen.

“i wasn’t sure” there’s no way in hell you thought he would come back, laurent. maybe logically you weren’t sure, but in your heart you accepted the abandonment the second he left your sight. just like nicaise did, when you left arles :’(

also they do a lot of gazing. i should have started a count earlier but i’m too lazy to go back now. for the record: they do a lot of gazing.

Damen tried to stop looking at Laurent. He had a hundred questions. How had he escaped his pursuers? Had it been easy? Difficult? Had he suffered any injury? Was he all right?

“was he all right” SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 <3<3<3

With the damage of the insurgency still awaiting his attention outside...

wait, so if the insurgency was a part of the overall plan, that tells us conclusively that there are like. inside men working for regent within the camp. which yeah, we already knew, but they’re actively getting intel somehow. or maybe this was planned from the start? this couldn't have been all aimeric, right??

To Damen, it seemed obvious that the uprising was planned, that the instigators were paid, and that their plan had relied on the fact that the rest of the Regent’s men, rabble-rousers, thugs and mercenaries looking for an outlet, would take the first excuse to lash out at the Prince’s men, and join in.

okay cool i was right about that

Two weeks ago, the troop had been a rabble split into two factions. They had not developed the fledgling camaraderie that now held them together; they hadn’t been sent to their sleeping rolls night after night exhausted from trying to outdo one another at some mad, impossible exercise; finding to their surprise after they had stopped cursing their Prince’s name, how much they had enjoyed themselves.

two weeks ago, they had not participated in the “i’ll make a man out of you” montage/musical number from the animated film mulan

It could have been far, far worse. Damen thought of all the ways that this might have played out: Laurent dead, or returned to find his troop in tatters, his messenger cut down on the road. Laurent was alive. The troop was intact. The messenger had survived.

an interesting counterpoint to damen’s catastrophizing en route to the camp.

i think between damen and laurent, we’re seeing the way trauma affects people at different distances from the traumatic events:

damen has very recently been traumatized by his father’s death, his brother’s betrayal, and the events of book 1. he is hypervigilant, almost perpetually disoriented, and prone to spiraling and expecting the worst. because everything is so fresh, he is unable to separate logical expectations from fear-based pattern recognition. he is feeling this hurt, whether he wants to or not, and cannot prevent it from affecting his perception and judgment.

laurent, meanwhile, endured similar trauma—loss, betrayal, sexual abuse—seven years ago, and then for a few years after that. it isn’t raw anymore, but that doesn’t mean that it’s gone. laurent’s trauma absolutely impairs his judgment, both strategically and emotionally. his wounds have not closed properly, his bones have set out of place (i don’t know enough about injuries to make good metaphors here). but he has no intention to fix that, because it would mean exposing the wounds or breaking the bones again, and enduring more hurt.

This day was a victory, except that the men didn’t feel it. They needed to feel it. They needed to fight something, and to win.

i see you’ve taken laurent’s philosophy of taking great pleasure in small victories to heart, damen

‘I prefer to think my way out of traps,’ said Laurent, ‘rather than use brute force to simply smash through.’ The words had the air of finality to them. Damen nodded and began to rise when Laurent’s cool voice stopped him. ‘That’s why I think we should fight,’ said Laurent. ‘It’s the last thing I would ever do, and the last thing that anyone, knowing me, would expect.’ ‘Your Highness—’ began Jord. ‘No,’ said Laurent. ‘I have made my decision. Call in Lazar. And Huet, he knows the hills. We plan the fight.’ Jord obeyed, and for a brief moment Damen and Laurent were left alone together. ‘I didn’t think you’d say yes,’ said Damen. Laurent said, ‘I have recently learned that sometimes it is better to simply smash a hole in the wall.’

and laurent has taken damen’s philosophy of Rip The Thing Out of The Wall to heart, too!!!

It was a succinct speech that was equal parts rallying and infuriating,

i would love to actually read a laurent speech on the page. i’m imagining something between a regina george/heather chandler backhanded bitchy monologue, a dungeons and dragons player explaining their convoluted plan to the dm, and a musical theater director addressing the cast on opening night after a week of grueling dress rehearsals

‘Orlant’s dead.’ ‘Dead?’ said Damen. ‘He was killed by one of the insurgents?’ ‘He was one of the insurgents,’ he was told, shortly. ‘He attacked the Prince as he was returning to camp. Aimeric was there. He was the one who took Orlant down. Got cut up doing it.’

context: pretty sure orlant was trying to warn the prince about aimeric being a traitor…

He remembered Aimeric’s tense, white face, and thought it best, before riding out into a fight, to check on the boy.

damen gets a pass for this misjudgment of character because everyone else fell for it too (i think laurent fell for it? at least at this point?)

‘A traitor,’ Aimeric echoed hollowly. ‘Would you have killed him for that? He was your friend.’ And then he said it again in a different voice, ‘He was your friend.’

context: aimeric is a traitor. he asks jord, his “friend,” if he would kill a traitor (like him). and then he repeats the sentiment in a different voice, because aimeric cares about jord, and he knows that he killed jord’s friend and feels guilty about that.

Damen and the group of fifty men he led were the bait. With them were the wagons that mimicked the appearance of a full troop making an attempt at tiptoeing their way stealthily south, under cover of night. When the enemy attacked, they would appear to fall back, and instead lead the way to the remainder of the troop led by Laurent. The two groups would trap the attackers between them, cutting off any escape. Simple.

foreshadowing of them both being kings—competently in charge of their own forces—but proving more effective as a unified team

He saw the flash of confusion in Lazar’s eyes and thought for a single heart-pounding second that his order might not be followed—despite the authority that Laurent had lent him for this mission—because he was a slave.

okay but like i think the second you came back instead of attempting escape, you made it pretty clear to laurent and everyone else that you’re not

Their attackers fell back, or simply fell. Pulling his sword from the man who had tried to knife him, Damen saw the mercenary at his right fall victim to a precise killing. ‘I thought you were supposed to be the bait,’ said Laurent. ‘There was a change of plan,’ said Damen.

stop flirting, you’re in battle (just kidding, i love battle couples)

‘I’m not used to my uncle miscalculating,’ said Laurent, after a pause. ‘It’s because he’s working at a distance,’ said Damen. ‘It’s because of you,’ said Laurent. ‘What?’ ‘He doesn’t know how to predict you,’ said Laurent. ‘After what I did to you in Arles, he thought you’d be—another Govart. Another one of his men. Another one of those men today. Ready to mutiny at a moment’s notice. That was what was supposed to have happened tonight.’

context: i think this is true! which is funny that i have to specify, but since like 70% of what laurent says is in some way untrue for the first two books of this series, it does help

‘Instead, you have saved my life, more than once. You have made fighters of these men, trained them, honed them. Tonight you handed me my first victory. My uncle never dreamed you’d be this kind of asset to me. If he had, he would never have allowed you to ride out of the palace.’ He could see in Laurent’s eyes, hear in his words, a question that he did not want to answer.

“why are you helping me?”

there are other ways damen could be helping akielos, without helping laurent. they both know it. but he’s choosing to do this instead, and they both know that too.

He pushed away from the tree. He felt an odd dizziness, a sense of displacement, and to his surprise he was prevented from moving off by Laurent’s hand clasping his arm. He looked down at it. He thought for a strange moment that it was the first time Laurent had ever touched him, though of course it wasn’t; the grip was more intimate than the flutter of Laurent’s lips against his fingertips, the sting of Laurent striking his face, or the press of Laurent’s body in a confined space. ‘Leave the repairs,’ said Laurent. His voice was soft. ‘Get some sleep.’ ‘I’m fine,’ said Damen. ‘It’s an order,’ said Laurent. He was fine, but he had no choice but to do as he was told; and when he tumbled onto his slave pallet and closed his eyes for the first time in two long days and nights, sleep was there, heavy and immediate, drawing him down past the strange new feeling in his chest into oblivion.

head in my hands, i love them so much. so many of these little details remind me of the way it feels to develop feelings for someone—little signs that you could potentially fall all the way in love. the sensation of innately understanding that you could give this person your heart, mind, and body, and they would understand what to do with them. that you could want them to have those things, and you could want theirs too. not right now, perhaps never at all—but the potential is there. it’s a strange feeling because it’s a million feelings at once: excitement, enchantment, fear, confusion, and so on…

also, i think i made a note previously on the nature of tenderness through damen’s perspective. inflicting pain vs. caring touch. if i do any kind of overview at the end of this re-read, i’ll want to take a quote from this passage for that specific theme.

#zelda references are getting out of hand i blame the horses #also i love lamen so much it's unreal #capri #sam reads capri #captive prince #prince's gambit #laurent of vere #damen of akielos #lamen

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